Ok I haven't posted here for a long long time and didn't think I ever would again.  But I really need a place to vent where my dad doesn't check and since he is on my fucking facebook I can't post there.  I AM SO DONE WITH BEING HERE!!  My dad is pissing me off to the point where I am having night terrors!!  My anger is actually seeping into my fucking DREAMS!!  He came home from my grandmothers the other day after being gone for a day and has not stopped pissing me off ever since.  First thing he did when he came home was scream at me because there was a fucking frying pan in the sink!!  WHERE THE HELL ELSE WOULD YOU PUT IT BEFORE WASHING IT FUCKTARD?!  He told me that he didn't want it in the sink because he couldn't make coffee if it was in there...what the fuck?!  So I said I was sorry and he slammed the pan on the counter.  I went to sit on the couch and he stormed off into my room and started throwing shit around!  Then I came into the room and he picked up the two plates I had in there and smashed them on my fucking bed!  Then he screamed at me some more and shoved me into the wall before slamming my bedroom door shut and leaving me to clean all the broken glass out of my bed!  Then today I went to work and was there for eight hours.  So I came home tired and grumpy just wanting to listen to some music.  So I put on my headphones to indulge in the last fucking joy I have left in this shit-hole and he turns his music on and blasts it through his computer speakers so loud that I couldn't hear my own fucking music!  There was no reason to do that!  If he wanted to listen to his music he has a perfectly good functional pair of headphones just like I do!  I never blast my music out loud!  BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE FUCKING RUDE!!  So I got up to go run off to my room which is the only place I can get some fucking semblance of peace and he says "So you're going to your room *huff* fine whatever."  HE WAS FUCKING PISSED AT ME FOR GOING TO MY FUCKING ROOM!!!!   AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!  Why is he incapable of living with another human being?!  He has no right to complain about shit considering that he hasn't had a job in six fucking years and all he does is sit on his ass at the computer or lay on his ass in his room!!  So now all he does is bitch and moan about EVERYTHING!!  I'm the only one of us bringing any money into this fucking apartment, I'm the only one who has to work, I'm the only one who has to pay any bills!!  SO WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS HOLY IS HE BITCHING?!  If he is so miserable without a job maybe he should get off his ass and FIND ONE!!
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    enraged enraged

Hello LJ land!

Howdy! Yes it's me! Your friendly neighborhood Lina! So recently I have started working at Giant. I have no BF but at this point it no longer matters to me. And I spend most of my time with my friend Erica since she is the shit. I have been playing with the new PS3 that I got for x-mas...and BTW Eternal Sonata is an AWESOME game! I have also started dressing like a girl in a more constant basis. Now don't get me wrong...I'm still and anime watching, video game playing, comic reading tom boy...I just look pretty now ^_^. I still spend a lot of my time watching my sisters son but other than that I do what I have always done. I'm actually watching Mushishi right now and it's such a chill anime...it really mellows me out. Anywho...that's all from me!


Ok so I just finished this series called Mononoke. It's a series of Japanese horror stories all centered around this medicine seller. The medicine seller will show up someplace, he will just be walking around in the background, and the main story line will follow the events surrounding the cast of people who will be tormented in this particular episode. After a while some really weird and FREAKY shit will start to happen and the medicine seller will show up and say "Oh it's a mononoke." Or "It's an Ayakashi." The medicine seller is one of the most interesting characters I have ever seen in an anime. Starting with his design. He is colorful...I mean REALLY colorful...but his contrast to the other characters is stark. I don't know exactly how to explain it...but his is both brighter and dimmer than the other characters in the series...I don't know how he manages to pull that off but he does. His character is really creepy and endearing at the same time. His makeup always makes it look like he is smiling but he never actually smiles throughout the series. He can kill mononoke and ayakashi, but there are rules. His sword that he carries around must know the form, the truth, and the regret of the mononoke before it can be unsheathed. For these things the medicine seller askes everyone involved, which will inevitably be the people trapped in whatever room they are in when the mononoke attacks, to tell him the truth. Of course no one actually tells the full truth, but it is scary what being faced with your own death will make you do. By the end everyone is pointing fingers at each other and telling half truths that make them look clean and everyone else guilty. Through all of these half truths you eventually get the whole story...and it is NEVER good...and almost everyone involved is guilty of some form of atrocity that lead to the mononoke being created (Mononoke and ayakashi are created from the negative emotions of humans who were killed that then either merged with an animal or object and took that form, or manifests itself in other more creative ways...but all are created from some form of atrocious act committed by someone else.) Now this is what makes the Medicine seller both creepy and endearing. As things are progressing you start to realize that he does not give two shits about a single person in this series. He couldn't care less if every person the mononoke attacks dies right there as long as he gets what he needs to kill the mononoke. Now at first you find it a little harsh, but then you hear the horrible secrets these people have kept! After that you pretty much just say "Oh fuck you!! I hope the Mononoke eats your ass!!" Then you can kind of see why the medicine seller doesn't care about anyone. How can you care about people who are so freaking BAD!! The line blurs a little later on in the series though. The supporting cast gets less and less TRULY evil and more in the moral gray area. The actual art for the series is AMAZING!! EVERYTHING has a complex and colorful pattern on it...and I mean everything! All the way down to the buttons on their shirts and the clouds in the sky. The whole series is done in texture so it's almost like the whole thing has been recorded on rice paper...very cool. None of the characters are meant to look particularly pretty...except the medicine seller...so you are left with a cast of some REALLY nasty looking people who get even uglier as their desperation and fear get stronger, it's almost like realism only completely unrealistic...if that even makes any sense. I will tell all of you who read this that this series is NOT for people who are easily disturbed...hell it's not for some people who are NOT easily disturbed...it is a FREAKING DISTURBING series!!! It is also really hard to find. But if you like ghost stories and are not going to be freaked out by some of the fucked up content...then I really think you should check it out.
Change the subject.


So I had to move back into my fathers house...which kind of sucks because I can't really breathe here. But today my friend Diva came to the house and helped me clean my room so that breathing could commence!! We dusted EVERYTHING cleaned my bed and my sheets and blankets, and we vaccumed the floor....it is still not done...it's nowhere near clean enough to live in yet...but i'm going to have to deal with it until I can take another crack at it. *Sigh* damn allergies....
cookie monster

I am SO not dead!

Hey I know I haven't been posting on here...but I would like to let all of you know that I am in fact not dead. I work at Giant now and spend most of my time working or watching my nephew. I was COMPLEATLY burned by that guy that was giving me so many problems...see my last post...and so I am hoping that he will die in a fire. I'm really likeing my job though. I hope you guys still check here because I would hate to lose frinds do to the fact that I have not had any time to post here. Well I hope to hear from some of you soon.


Well i'm still trying to get over being heartbroken....but we will just have to see how this goes...He's kind of still stringing me along here...one minute he acts like he really likes me, and the next he's acting like he couldn't care less. This is all confusing the hell out of me. I wish he would just tell me one way or the other. Because if he doesn't like me then I can just be friends with him and get the fuck over it...but if he does like me...then I need to know so I can work from there....this whole not knowing thing is DRIVING ME CRAZY!! But at the same time I REALLY don't want to scare the shit out of him...GOD DAMN i'm turning into a fucking girl!! And for those of you who know me...that will be really creepy...I was wearing a DRESS FOR GODS SAKE!! ....A DRESS!!! I really need to just reel in my emotions and just do what I've always done when I like a guy...fuck it...usually I just don't give a shit. If it happens it happens...If not then that's ok too...And I have NEVER waited by the phone for a guy to call....EVER!! This is getting out of hand...I need to resolve this soon...before I really do turn into a girl!!
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So I was compleatly turned down by this guy that I liked...which SUCKS! I really liked him...which is wierd for me, because if any of you know me you'll know that I don't usually give two shits about most of the guys I go out with...well maybe not that far, but I certainly don't frikkin CRY over them! Which I did this time...so I guess the only thing to do is move on. But damn it sucks being kicked off of cloud nine...


I'm tired and achy...grr. But other than that i'm still pretty ok. My father is scared shitless because i'm actually happy right now...acually that's pretty much scaring EVERYONE! I havn't been this happy in a while, and I don't even know why that is. Life has been going pretty much the same as always, though I have met some really cool people lately. I met a nice girl yesterday. She came into my store at 10:30 am...to LOOK at shoes, and left at 2:00 pm with a purse, a pair of shoes, and my number. I took her number from her, and acording to her we're hanging out on tuesday. Huzzah.

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So I went to Katsucon this weekend. It was AWESOME! I met this really cool girl named Haley and her boyfriend Nick. Also all of the people that stayed in the two rooms that the group I was with rented were really fun. I went to the rave, which was the first rave i've ever been to, and slept on the floor when I returned to my room...ok so the sleeping on the floor thing wasnt so much fun...but everything else was just great. ^_^